We’re all in this together.
Are we though?
America is a shattered windshield. Each tiny sparkling piece as much a part of the idea of a windshield as any other piece, each necessary to make it whole again. Each chunk of tempered glass is reflective, and refractive, and can’t understand it’s relationship to the piece next to it, what with all the reflecting. And inside each piece we are trapped. It’s a hall of mirrors, an illusion that makes it feel like we have freedom, choice, somewhere else to go from here. And when we catch a glimpse over the mirror, when we try to see out, our eyes quickly readjust to catch our own reflection, we are given exactly what we expect. We’ve started to believe that we are the only piece that matters. That we can (and have to) do it all on our own. We’re the chosen shard that is going to make America whole again, in our own image. And everyone thinks this.
I like my America, I suspect you like yours too. Maybe you’re in my America with me. People in my America make beautiful and interesting things. People are like water in my America, we flow. We do yoga, and meditate and grow our own food and bake pop tarts from scratch. We run small non-essential businesses. We make books and music and art, we consume books and music and art. We cheer for important causes. My America swims in privilege. In our darker hours we can be cynical and jaded and extremely judgmental. Our values are based on things that we can’t really grasp, and so we pick and choose the values that suit us, and we shake our heads at others who pick and choose differently. My America is nothing but a lifestyle.
What exactly are we to do when we are trapped in a lifestyle that doesn’t understand its relationship to other things? What are you good at, lifestyle America? What skills do you have? What can you bring to the table?
Resilience.
Lifestyle America thinks it’s resilient. We as individuals definitely are. We are masters at the art of the PIVOT. But resilience is not the ability to adapt as individuals and withstand the storm, resilience is not waiting this out, resilience is not survival. Resilience is the ability to deal with change, and continue to develop. Resilience means understanding that change doesn’t always equal growth. It means knowing that sometimes the change we need can look like stability, and in some cases death.
Resilience is a value that needs to be cultivated, chosen. Instead of trying to figure out how to make this new situation work for ourselves, we need to start making choices that are based in the value of resilience. We need to make resilience our ethic. We need to make resilience hip and sexy. We need to make resilience the new black.
Cultivating the value of resilience is reimagining our America as a complex ecosystem, as opposed to the closed loop system that it’s becoming. Let’s re-imagine our tiny little world by prioritizing diversity. What would that even look like? How would that work? Let’s discuss it. Let’s try new things with the knowledge that sometimes small changes can have huge and lasting impact. Let’s start managing our connectivity in a way that actually supports change. What would that look like? Let’s take the long view and monitor slow variables and feedbacks, instead of demanding change overnight and becoming disillusioned when our protest doesn’t work.
Let’s start piecing America back together, and instead of longing for the paragon windshield without cracks or visible damage, let’s trust that whatever the thing ends up being that we rebuild, it will be beautiful in its own way. Let’s approach it knowing that the only thing we might have in common with our neighbor is our edge, but that’s something. I doubt I need to remind you, but here it is again: there is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.
A meditation on resilience:
Put the word resilience into your mind. See the letters: R E S I L I E N C E. What shape are they? What color are they? How does the word sit? Where does it sit? Or maybe it floats? Let the word resilience sink into your body. Watch as the letters dissolve and become a part of you. You are resilient. Where does resilience go in your body? Maybe it stays in your mind as an idea. Maybe it sits in your throat giving resolve to your voice. Maybe it lives in your strong and tender heart. Or it finds its home in your gut, feeling like butterflies. It might live in your sacrum, powerful and sexy. Or it could be at your root, holding you down. Wherever it lives, whether in one or many or all parts of your body, honor that by sitting with yourself, knowing that you contain everything you need.
As the mind wanders around, worrying, remembering, planning, imagining, come back again and again to the word resilience. Visualize it this time as it is integrated in your body, growing and thriving within you.